We get it.
You’ve got geek cred. You can build your own rig, you know all the best sites to shop for computer components, you’re proud of your 120Hz LCD TV (although you could have gone 240Hz but chose not to) and the XBox 360 and PS3 that live in the entertainment center underneath it. Your homepage is set to SlickDeals, and you know where to snag DPS spreadsheets to make sure you’re at the top of the damage charts in your guild’s next World of Warcraft raid. You have a laptop running Ubuntu, and that’s just because it’s the hot new flavor – you remember the fond days of Slackware. You think closed source software is a sin, and while you love Apple hardware you hate their culture of secrecy and locked-down technology. You don’t want to like Microsoft, but you admit that Office 2007 is the default in the market and you’re definitely sold on Windows 7.
So why is it that you have such a hard time with real people?
You’re confident when you’re giving orders on Ventrilo, but when your guildies suggest you come visit, you always find a reason not to. Your coworkers suggest you stop off for a drink after work, but you just won’t go for one reason or another. You hate shopping for yourself, and you talk big on internet forums but you wouldn’t know how to articulate your opinions and preferences to a real person who might actually disagree with you.
That’s where I come in.
I’m Alan, and I’m the classiest geek you’ll ever meet.
The Classy Geek will help you, in a nutshell, get your shit together, and do the geek’s way. I’m the alternative to the spit-sucking, linux distro debating, Microsoft hating, “I have a LAMP server in my basement along with my other 10 computers” geek. You know those guys – and you don’t want to be those guys. You want to look good in a dress shirt regardless of your weight or build, you want to be confident around people regardless of the topic of conversation. You want to charm the skirt off of your date (or the pants, I’m looking at you geek ladies) but you want to do it without resorting to your depth of routing protocols (I mean, we all know BGP, right?).
I’m here to show you that a little knowledge can go a long way. You get to learn from my mistakes, and maybe pick up a few interests at the same time. I’m not going to turn you into a fratboy – the geek is strong in me too, and I’m not going to suggest you start watching football or shopping at American Eagle. After all, if you know how to write shell scripts and you know what the two Ps in LAMP actually stand for, choosing a good scotch or pairing a nice wine with a home cooked meal should be a snap for you.
The geeks have inherited the earth, I’m going to show you what to do with it now that it’s there for the taking. All without betraying yourself.
Stick around. I can help, and I can make this look good.